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Patagonia Provisions: Buffalo Jerky, Original Flavor

11/28/2015

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What can you say about a small packet of jerky that costs the same as a complete eggplant parm dinner at our favorite Italian hole in the wall?
 
A lot actually, especially if it comes from Patagonia.
 
We tend to be an outdoorsy lot here at Cigar Habitat, and we have to confess a positive bias toward Patagonia. The company has pursued sustainability and responsible manufacturing long before most people knew or cared what that meant.
 
And their customer service has been epic. One staffer recounted reporting a broken zipper to their customer service department—on a 10-year old jacket. The normal response would be something along the lines of, “Throw it out and buy a new one.” Patagonia’s response was an apology that it could no longer be repaired since the model is discontinued, and a pledge to replace it with an equivalent current model free of charge. So, what did we have to lose spending 10 bucks on two ounces of jerky? Probably nothing.

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Boy, are we glad we did. This stuff is some of the best jerky we’ve ever tried. It smells savory and delicious as soon as you open the sachet, but not overpowering in any way and certainly not overly seasoned or artificial. The meat looks very natural, with some intramuscular fat among the lean but tender cuts.
 
The mouth feel is rich and meaty and just a tiny bit gamey, in the same way a well-aged cut of beef exhibits that teeny bit of luxurious funk that only true connoisseurs fully appreciate. The seasonings compliment the flavor, and the finish is long but clean, with no lingering aftertaste. The pieces of meat are generally uniform and consistent with no stringiness or fat, suggesting careful hand trimming.
 
As you’d expect from Patagonia, the meat doesn’t come from anything resembling a factory farm. It’s humanely raised here, free roaming, and they never, ever meet their end in a slaughterhouse where animals are needlessly stressed, not only resulting in an inhumane end to their lives but also adversely affecting the quality of the meat.
 
Of course, killing anything is bound to be messy but (skip to the next paragraph now if you don’t want to know) these animals are basically harvested by a sharpshooter in the field and never even see it coming. It’s a quick, dignified end by most standards and a million miles more humane than slaughterhouse methods.
 
Oh, and by purchasing buffalo raised this way, you’re helping to preserve the Great Plains ecosystem.
 
Our highest recommendation then for Patagonia Provisions Buffalo Jerky. They also sell some great looking salmon and soups, and we can’t wait to try them.

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Make Mondays Suck Less: Schedule Your Cigar Lineup Over Breakfast

8/2/2015

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For most working stiffs, it's true: Mondays mornings are at least a little bit of a drag. It's even harder when you're coming down from the high of a glorious summer weekend. Why wallow in the misery? Add some fun to your Monday morning ritual by choosing your cigar selection for the work week over breakfast. See what just happened there? You're already thinking ahead to that 6pm visit to your local cigar lounge, or your post-dinner smoke on the deck. Here are some tips on doing it right...

Monday: Pull Out The Big Guns
A lot of people save their best cigar for Friday. This is wrong. Fridays are awesome by themselves and need little in the way of enhancement. Mondays on the other hand usually blow. Mondays are for tackling that major issue you should have resolved on Friday, but put off. Mondays are for returning that phone call to someone you hate. Ugh. That's why Mondays require the best cigar possible. For this week, we chose a nice RyJ Duke limited edition from 2009. Whatever you choose, make it special, that's the point.
Condition yourself so Mondays are always a great cigar day, and something to look forward to.

Tuesday: Mellow Out, Man

You've made it past Monday. That probably means you've acclimated back to the work week fully and have put the dread and awfulness behind you.  A nice, easygoing, medium-bodied smoke is all that's required here. Unless you've closed a big deal or gotten a raise or something, there's no good reason to spoil yourself too much. Something like an everyday H. Upmann Sir Winston does the trick. Nice, but not rare or overly expensive is the play here, friends.


Wednesday: Get Over The Hump
This is where most folks start to see that weekend light at the end of the tunnel. We think the correct strategy here is not to settle in for a two-hour relaxation session, but rather, to light up a firecracker! Something short, zingy and bold like the little 7-20-4 corona we picked out here. It's a half-hour pick-me-up that rewards you sufficiently for making it through half a work week, and gets you off your butt in less than a half-hour to go do other stuff. Like power washing the deck in preparation for a weekend barbecue. Because, let's face it, you have other crap to get done besides smoking cigars. (You do, right???)

Thursday: Make It Optional

Speaking of stuff to do, Thursdays can be an "oh crap!" day. Like when you realize you have lots of stuff to get done at work before end of day Friday. Or maybe you need to check off a long shopping list for weekend projects. Whatever the case, you may need to stay late at work or get right on that honey-do list at home. We know you want a cigar, but remind yourself you don't need one. Because let's face it, Friday is...tomorrow! And there will be plenty of time on Saturday and Sunday too. If our Quai D'Orsay goes unsmoked this week, no big deal. We'll just put it back in the rotation for next week. No pressure!

Friday: Savor The Magic Hour
The magic hour starts the exact moment that you realize you're on your own time and shake off the stress of the week. From Monday to Thursday, cigars are a welcome distraction, a respite. But on Fridays, well, times are so good that you don't need a cigar to do all the work. We like to pick something on the lighter side. Something to savor gently and contemplate. See that Perdomo Champagne we picked out? Perfect! Goes nicely with a light beverage or a simple cocktail like a scotch and soda. Smoke and sip slowly, surround yourself with friends, and remember: this is what it's all about!

We realize not everyone works a 9 to 5, so feel free to adjust our prescription accordingly. We are not doctors and this should not be construed as medical advice. We aren't bartenders either, but that's not gonna stop us from mixing up a few drinks this week. Sorry, somebody said drinks...what were we talking about again?

Oh yeah, the point is this: taking 15 minutes on a Monday morning to choose your cigar lineup is a great way to relax, meditate on a fun little task, and make the prospect of a full work week ahead less daunting. Do it once, and we think you'll make it part of your routine each and every week. We think we've hit upon the perfect formula, but heck, you tell us: how do you do it? Post your comment below!


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Tasting Lawless Jerky: A True Gourmet Experience

2/14/2015

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Thank goodness for the mini-explosion in craft made, small-batch jerky. A lot of what you can buy at supermarkets and big box stores is really nasty stuff, loaded with preservatives, salted to death and packed with flavorings that seem intended to overpower (or disguise) the ordinary-quality meat.

Seems crazy that nobody from those big companies asked themselves, What if we started with good meats, and let the quality of the ingredients shine? Couldn't we charge more for our product? Certainly Lawless Jerky isn't the first to answer these questions, but their story is worth telling.

First, what about the name? Turns out the dude who owns the company is an attorney whose passion leans more toward jerky than the law. Second, what about the quality? Well, Lawless uses only grass-fed, pastured Australian beef that even the Humane Society approves of. It's tender because of a proprietary combination of dry and wet aging they claim is only employed by them. They also use no artificial ingredients or preservatives, except for the tiny bit that is contained in the siracha sauce they use as an ingredient.

Most importantly, Lawless focuses on flavors that enhance and bring out the flavor of their meats, rather than overpowering it. All of the flavors are savory combinations of sweet and spice and heat that we think are pretty darn delightful—and which also make a great pre-cigar snack, or pairing with craft beers, wines and even some spirits. We tasted them on their own to get the full experience.
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Our favorite? Pho. Yep, you heard that right. Lawless makes a Pho flavor variety inspired by the ingredients in one of our favorite Vietnamese noodle soups. It sounds gimmicky, we know. But Lawless doesn't try and make it taste like soup. Instead, they focused on which traditional pho ingredients would enhance the flavor. In this case, it's a delicious melange of cilantro, mint, basil, ginger, garlic, star anise, onion, cloves, lemongrass, cinnamon and jalapeño pepper. 

People accustomed to more traditional jerky flavors will likely find the Aloha Teriyaki variety most appealing, and it's a revelation. It has none of the cloying, sticky-sweetness of gas station jerky. The pieces are even studded with sesame seeds that add a toasty, nutty counterpoint to the garlic and ginger. Make no mistake, across all varieties, the flavors are subtle and never overpowering. Even if a specific flavor doesn't sound appealing, you might be surprised.

Unfortunately, the Paleo Pepper flavor was unavailable when we placed our order. But we will be sure to check back soon, because this combination of exotic white and black pepper varieties with a touch of agave nectar sounds absolutely delicious.

We saved the best for last: the meat itself. This jerky isn't beaten and battered into a tough sinewy mess. The flavor, the texture and the chew are all excellent and retain the character and flavor of good cuts of beef.

Nutritionally, this stuff is relatively low in fat and salt—especially when compared with convenience store junk. We certainly wouldn't hesitate to pop open a bag as a satisfying substitute for a sit-down lunch. It's not even messy, completely devoid of that oil slick of artificial garbage left on your fingers after eating mass produced stuff.

Here's the kicker: it's not expensive. At $7 per 2-ounce bag, plus flat rate $5 shipping regardless of whether you order one bag or 100, we think the price is right in line with the excellent quality. This is some of the best jerky we've ever tried.

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Cigar Rides: GM's Full Size SUVs

1/8/2014

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Few things in life feel as good as tooling down a country road (or the New Jersey Turnpike) in a full-size, body-on-frame SUV, just the way God intended. People from other countries don't hate us because we do stuff like this. They hate us because we can.

Is it wasteful? Sure. Is there anything awesome that isn't? Is raising prime beef a waste of pasture, in the sense that you could farm that same land and feed way more people? Of course. Listen, Bill Gates is trying to save the world but he lives in a mansion the size of Peru that probably wastes more BTUs than those indoor ski resorts in Dubai. If he doesn't feel guilty, why should we? Just give some money to charity, help an old lady or two across the street and move on with your life.

Where else but in America can you drive around in vehicle that qualifies as real estate in other countries? The spaciousness is intoxicating. While the Chevy Tahoe, GMC Yukon and Cadillac Escalade are all nice and big, what you really want are the stretched versions. After all, if you're going to go big, do it right and get yourself a Suburban, Yukon XL or Escalade EXT. 

It's not just because they're the last of a dying breed. It's because they are, as they always have been, very good to own and drive. With a long wheelbase and a  solid frame, the ride is a delight. When you hit a pothole in one of these, the truck hits it right back. All you feel is a distant thud. On the highway, you can tilt the steering wheel down to your balls and control nearly six thousands pounds of glorious American steel with just your fingertips. 

And don't kid yourself. It feels great to know that, if you want them to, people will get out of your way. 

Under the hood there's a V8 engine. (Once again, let us pause to thank Him.) It rumbles distantly, but makes its presence known when you dip into the throttle. Driving these is like driving a speedboat, except on land. It's big, but quick, and surprisingly nimble. Roll down all the windows and open the sunroof on a warm evening and we defy you not to think it doesn't get any better.

Such a euphoric experience doesn't need much enhancement, but what the heck, if we're gonna be hedonists let's not skimp. That cigar you like? Bring it along. In fact, bring a bunch because there's plenty of room in the center console for a full 25-count humidor and all the cutters and lighters you could ever need. There's also room in the many cupholders for a nice, big ashtray like the Cigar Bobken. Speaking of cupholders, they're everywhere, and big, so whether you want a large coffee or a Big Gulp, it'll always be close at hand.

Generally speaking, the things wear like iron. The interior materials can be a little hard and plasticky. Parts like window regulators can need early replacement, but have you seen the size of the windows they have to regulate? You'd wear out too if you were pumping that many pounds of glass. The drivetrains and particularly the engines can easily last into the 200- to 300,000-mile range and beyond with loving maintenance. Like that old bomber jacket in your closet that you'd never even consider parting with, these are vehicles that are best kept for a long time and handed down. 

That's why we're a little worried because an all-new generation of these is due for the 2015 model year. We love our Cowboy Cadillacs just as they are, so we hope GM understands why we love them so much. That fabulously comfortable ride. The cavernous, quiet interior. The big seats. All that storage. The rumble and torque of the V8 engine. The invincibility of knowing you're driving a vehicle that can flatten any obstacles in its path. The reassurance of owning something that lasts.

Somewhere in Europe, there's a guy who likes cigars driving around on a muddy road in a Range Rover, and he sort of gets it. But not like we get it. GM's full size SUVs are the kings of the wide open spaces. Let's hope it stays that way.


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Cigar Snack: (Almost) Guilt-Free Jerky.

12/21/2013

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It's called Turkey Perky Jerky and it's good stuff by any reasonable standard. But what's really amazing is that it's low -- really low -- in everything you'd want it to be low in. Like sodium. And calories. 

There's also no preservatives. No nitrates. No fat. No MSG. Nothing in the ingredients list you can't pronounce. 

So what makes it perky? Guarana. It's a natural ingredient added to energy drinks and there's apparently some in here, too. We don't care about that part.

What we do care about is that this is a meaty, peppery snack that's perfect for before or in between cigars. It's satisfying and even just a little salty. It's a heck of a lot more convenient and less messy than, say, smoked salmon. Plus, you can tote it with you to the cigar lounge or campground.

Compared to another national brand turkey jerky, a one-ounce serving of Perky has just 110mg of sodium vs. a whopping  490mg. And of course the other stuff has nitrates, which I might be willing to ingest under certain circumstances (like bacon) but not here. 

The texture of individual pieces can vary from tough to tender. Each bag seems to contain a few pieces that are a little sinewy, but still tender. Some people may not like that but to me, it adds variety. The worst thing I can say is that the flavoring is vaguely teriyaki-like and some pieces tend to absorb it differently than others. For instance, the sinewy pieces tend to be a little more sticky and saturated in the stuff, whereas the most tender bits can taste a little under-seasoned by comparison. It's jerky for crying out loud, not fresh carpaccio, what do you want? 

Turkey Perky Jerky is a good, savory, satisfying snack that would make a nice pre-game ritual with, say, a nice Padron. At around $5 a bag, it's not cheap, but then again, cheap jerky is dog food anyway. 

Target stores often have it on sale for $4. If you go, maybe think about paying cash.




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Tobermory 15 Is Righteous Stuff

12/2/2013

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People automatically assume that whisky and cigars are a natural pairing. I don't think so. For instance, a few years back wine writer James Suckling suggested that perhaps champagne is a better match, especially when it comes to Havanas and subtle non-Cuban cigars. He was right, and we haven't looked back since.

But when it comes to stronger smokes, nothing beats the back-to-back wallop of 90-proof whisky and a big nicotine blast. It's not something we necessarily enjoy on a regular basis and certainly not for the uninitiated. However, when you find a whisky that not only stands up to, but also compliments, your strongest cigars, the results can be sublime. 

Tobermory 15 is good stuff and up to the task. Finding it can be a challenge but at less than $150 per bottle, it's not horrifically expensive. Since you'll be enjoying just an ounce or two at a time, it's a heck of a value in terms of enjoyment per dollar. It's lovely to look at, taste and smell. It even comes packed in a cool wooden box that hopefully you will find a use for after the bottle is long gone.

Back to why high-alcohol drinks and strong cigars are a good match from a practical perspective. Nicotine is a necessary evil when it comes to cigars. Some people enjoy a good buzz, while I just tend to get sick. I used to enjoy a good game of Russian cigar roulette, picking out an unfamiliar smoke and rolling the dice on whether it would put me on my back or not. Not anymore. I've had enough of those kinds of thrills.

Nope, the nice thing about an ounce or two of whisky is that it tends to sooth the very same nerves that an abundance of nicotine can rub raw. It's also what led drug addicts to combine cocaine and heroin, with sometimes unfortunate results. Moderation is key in everything.

Tobermory 15 looks great in a glass, with its deep brown mahogany color. Yet it's fruity on the nose, with the expected bit of smokiness and spice. Oak and pepper and coffee cake combine with baking spices and pepper on the palate. The finish is long. As the sweet elements fade, they leave behind elemental wood and smoke., priming your palate for another blast of sweetness in the next sip. It's a darn fine ride.

There are only a few Havanas I'd consider pairing this with. Juan Lopez for sure. Maybe Bolivar or a Romeo y Julieta Cazadores. Cohiba Maduro, too. Other than that, stick to non-Cubans. Padron 1926 in particular smokes a lot like this Tobermory drinks. But basically any stronger, richer, chewier cigar you enjoy should be satisfying. I has a particularly nice experience with an aged (and long out of production) Perdomo Sun Grown Epicure. 

Tobermory 15 and a nice, rich cigar are ideal for heady afternoon of enjoyment.


THE DETAILS

Tobermory 15 Year Old
750 ML
Single Malt Scotch
Islands (Isle of Mull)
46.3%
Sherry Cask
About $150

THE PAIRINGS

Non-Cuban: Padron 1926, San Lotano Oval, Flor de Las Antillas, L'Atelier, Alec Bradley Prensado, Oliva Master Blends. Cuban: Juan Lopez, Bolivar, Cohiba Maduro

THE VERDICT

CLASSIC
EXCELLENT
VERY GOOD
GOOD

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